so.. I kinda don't have time

I know.. i said i would try to keep this up and whatnot, but really, work and life have been too busy to take a minute to write my thoughts down. I'm keeping this here because I think I will keep coming back to it, but definately not going to be an every day thing or even an every other day thing like it was when i started. Now, of course, it hasn't been a year, but what the hell. I've tried and failed at this diary writing more than once. Not to be discouraged, I will keep a post coming and in my thoughts.

So.. to fill in. Schools out, kids are gone. They've been to their dads with the bitch (girlfriend) and she made my son pissed off and cry. God.. she's a whore. They will be coming home in 2 weeks and I think they are both going to be happy about it. The Princess got her cheer camp over and done with and she had a fabulous time. I am glad for that. But now some kind of rule has changed and they have to maybe hold tryouts all over again. holy shit, what a clusterfuck. leave it to cheerleaders to perpetuate the drama.

I have been slammed busy with new software, new deployment and about a 120% increase in my work load. The guy I work with has decided what is and isn't his job anymore, so I am left picking up the slack and just kinda doing what needs to get done. I spent 2 weeks putting in 12-14 hr days. Yes, it sucked balls.

The boy is doing great, loving vacation, anxious to be back home. He's been gone 2 weeks longer than the Princess. The Honey is getting ready to travel again, and I am going to miss him this time. He actually gets vacation time when he's gone and will get to visit family. I will not.

I am not on par for any vacations. Some dr. appointments and what not. I am still going to PT, and still fighting a bit of weird chronic pain, but over all since the surgery DEFINATELY better. There are some days where I can't move my neck, but most days I'm doing pretty good with stiffness. I still can't live a normal life, and exercise or do any kind of physical activity, but I spose that comes with getting rear-ended by a 73 GMC pickup. My Phyisical therapist has let me go down to once a week, which has been kinda sad, but progressive anyway. I am still losing weight and down into a solid 14 now. Thats been since late april an 18 down to 14. I'm still working on it and thinking about the Kimkins diet. I really just want to exercise more, but can't do that.

The princess turned 15 and got her belly button pierced. I feel a big I told you so coming on when she starts cheerleading back up. The boy, thankfully, got nothing pierced or tattoo'd while at his dads.

Honey helped and we got the bathroom almost finished. Hopefully this weekend the honey can finish the tiles and get the grout and sealant done. Then i just need to measure and purchase a lovely $150 special order shower curtain bar. Yes.. its expensive and stupid, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I must say, the tile saw helps ALOT in doing stuff that we didn't have when I tiled the entry way. I am now all gung-ho about doing the downstairs hallway & maybe the stairs. The upstairs bathroom is going to need to get done ASAP as the walls & tiles are now having the problem that the downstairs bathroom had. Hopefully we can get one done before the other fails totally. I really NEED to bathe.. its kind of a requirement. But, we will be paying someone to do that one. I told the Honey I had had enough w/the bathrooms.

The princess also wants to move her room into the office (cause its bigger) and the office into her room. It will be CRAMPED to high heaven, but I think that I can convince honey to throw some shit out.. god I hope I can convince honey to throw some shit out. Wonder if I could get that room tiled....hrm..thoughts. Maybe the boy's room. God.. so much to tile, so little time.

Time to head home.. glad I got something down on here.. little updates..

Whats up Chuck?

Well.. we are into week 3 of searching for our other dog. My sister-in-law sent the Honey a picture of them (honey & puppy) together. I broke into tears. I kinda thought that was a rude thing to do, but also know that no ill will was meant. I am just so sad to have lost her. Today we go down to the Humane Society to look at one that MIGHT be her. I am a little scared cause the puppy in the picture had blood on her tail and doesn't look really healthy. I guess I can't expect her to be the tip top of shape after 3 weeks on the lamb.

My nephew's graduation present arrived this week. We got it all set up and ready to take with us on Friday. Man, we are very excited about all of that. We are leaving EARLY friday morning. The princess and I have been shopping to find good outfits. She raped me for $50 at Hollister.

I have decided that I seriously want to be down a couple sizes by my brothers wedding on Labor day. This will be my goal. I am seriously looking into weight watchers and all that. I think that if I lost some weight I would seriously feel better.

On that same note. PT has finally let me go down to once a week!!!!.. hooray but I am also a bit sad. I enjoyed my time there and now I am forced to make time at home. I just don't know how much i can do like that. Discipline will become my new forte, I suppose.

The boy is leaving on the 26 to go to his dad. I am a bit nervous that he made a one-way ticket, but alas, not my deal. I'm sure he'll come home. The princess doesn't leave until sometime after Cheer camp. They have both been busy with school and getting ready for finals.

Work has been busy. I have been doing some training and the new software launch has just caused havoc in my work world. Can't I just go back to normal problems? I really hate that there is very little that I can actually fix if they call with problems. I am a problem router and I don't necessarily like that. But, oh well. Its still making my world a bit rougher.

I picked up the Killers & Gwen Stefani albums this week. Loving them.

{Listening to Digging your Own Hole by Chemical Brothers}

Another gap...

Well lets see where i left off.. still haven't found our other dog. The Honey is back on the road. The Princess and I had a row and I think we are better now. Cheerleading is costing me an arm and a leg. The Boy is still working on getting his grades up. They are both itchin for school to be out. Work is work and just getting more busy. I seem to be less motivated recently. Still losing weight, but not at a rapid pace. I need to drop like 40lbs in a week. That would rock!!!

I have been going to PT still. I am really not liking that I have to keep going. Its been almost 9 months. I still have to go 2x/week. My neck still bothers me so I know I need to go, but I just don't want to some days.

I am getting REALLY excited about my nephews graduation and seeing the family. Ok, I'm excited to see most of them. This will be the first time that Honey has met the family, so I'm a bit nervous about that. But in the end, they don't generally approve of my life, so it doesn't bother me a whole lot if they don't like him. He's absolutely awesome to me and to the kids, so thats where its gonna stand. But it still makes me a bit nervous. Its a whole weekend of interaction with the fam, so thats a long time to first meet 'em. SO anyway.. I am looking forward to that alot and still nervous about it at the same time. It should be a great time.

We are renting an SUV for the drive and staying the whole weekend. Its like a 10 hr drive, but oh well.. it will be nice.. to have a rental car, not putting the miles on our own.

I am still recovering from my fall down the stairs last week, so my neck has been hurting. Haven't really done much except my PT exercises and still going to PT. I really can't do much with the kiddos except run them around when I can hardly turn my head. *sigh*..

{listening to Green Eyes by Erykah Badu}

10 days have passed

I just haven't really been able to post. I should try to find the time, but after I leave work, I just don't have the energy to get on the computer. I haven't even been playing my game during the week. Plus, there has been some decent tv that I am now addicted to.

So lets back up. Last saturday I cut my hair. I cut it all off. It was down past my shoulders and now its a super short spikey do. I love it. I still kinda miss my hair being long, but i love this new haircut and everyone seems to like it.

On tuesday, we had a blizzard. Our dogs got out. We only have 1 back. We are missing our baby girls sasha and so it has been a very very sad week at our house. I have cried almost every day and night that she is gone. I was out for 3 hours in the blizzard looking for them both. Our Mojo was found and returned to the humane society. Sasha was The Honey's little baby girl. She's not a lap dog or anything, she's a jack russell/husky mix, so she's medium sized, no fur and skinny, but she was his baby and he is absolutely heartbroken. I am too. It was a bittersweet reunion when we got Mojo back home, because we still are missing Sasha. Lots of tension, stress and tears around our house. We have put up posters and put out as many notifications that we possibly could. Mojo was already 5 miles from home after 1 day. Its day 4 now for Sasha, no telling how far she is. I just hope that she is safe. *breathe* ok, enough crying for this morning.

Work has been busy. Lots of new stuff happening, lots of nobody knowing what the fuck is going on. Just keep plugging along here.

Been doing alright physically. The stress from the dogs being gone had made my neck tighten up. I have been to PT and thats all good. I am still working on losing weight and trying to feel better. I need to make some appointments for doctors and follow up on that crap, but I'll get there, just been too much to do lately.

Seems like most weeks I don't have a minute to breathe by myself. The kids need running here and there, work is busy, the honey is gone, trying to keep up with housework, etc. Never enough time in an hour, a day, a week, a month...

I snapped at the princess last night. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. She hurt my feelings, and I think that all the work, dog, pms stress just broke me. I made a snarky remark. She said it hurt her feelings. I apologized, but she couldn't get over that I hurt her feelings. Never mind that what she said was rude to me. Oh Well. I guess teenagers can work their selfishness. I just let it all get to me last night. Some days its too much for me to just blow off their snarky remarks.

I am contemplating changing my cell phone service, though I don't have any really good reason why other than Verizon has been totally shit in the customer service department. I also get a discount through my company with Cingular/AT&T, and they have Rollover minutes, which Verizon doesn't have. I also like the Simm card. Verizon doesnt have that. You get a new phone, either its $25 for them to transfer your data or you get to type all your numbers and shit in again. Thats stupid if you ask me. My problem is that I was with At&t, they switched to Cingular screwed me to no end, and now they are back to AT&T. Decisions.. but I got a month or so before my contract with Verizon finishes. I am just kinda tired of their shite customer service.

I have been in love with GoldFrapp (band) for quite a while. They are a techno band out of the UK and I have them in my rotation of iTunes. But, for some reason this morning, I had the urge to just play their whole album. They are awesome. I also been busy this morning updating myspace. HA! I really just need to keep myself occupied.

The dog being gone has hit the Honey really hard this morning. He is on the verge of tears. I just dont' know if I can handle that too much cause I am bursting out into spontaneous crying already. This morning, just looking at him and the tears just behind the surface, I lost it. I am trying to be supportive and I understand his emotion. I am having a hard time, but I know that he is having it even more rough than I am.

Plugging along today.. through the weekend....

{Listening to Lovely 2 C U by Goldfrapp}

Runnin' to slow down

Ever have those days where you feel so busy, but dont' feel like anything was accomplished? That was my weekend. The honey was home from his business trip, but I didn't hardly see him. We ended up not having our date because, I kinda forgot and planned dinner w/the whole family.

So on friday, I ran the kids around until about 8:00, got busy w/the honey before picking up the kids at 9:30, got home around 10. Saturday, got up at 8, picked up princess from her friends house at 12, came home, worked on honey's taxes, went to the mall w/the princess to try to get haircuts, ended up rescheduling for Sunday, went to dinner (the non-date w/the whole family), got horrible service, rushed through dinner cause the princess was cramping and needed to get home. Got home and its 7:30 already. I was exhausted. On sunday, i got up at 4am cause the dogs woke me up, got a couple hours to flood the kitchen with coffee, play my game, read my book, everyone was awake by 8, at 10, the princess and I left for haircuts, went shopping while we waited for our appointment, got some coffee (cause i flooded the kitchen w/the coffee and didn't get any). Got hair cut, got home at 1:30 in time to take the boy to a 1:50 movie. Blades of Glory. Holy shit is it funny. The theatre was crowded and we were pressed for time. Got a hot dog to eat and dripped ketchup all over my shirt. Got out, got home, got dinner in the oven and finally took my shoes off. It was 5. Ate dinner and went to the store with the kids. Got home, got groceries put away, looked at the clock: it was 8. Went to bed.

I hate being so rushed that I got absolutely nothing done. In the whole weekend it feels like I didn't do anything but run around, I didn't see the honey, I hung out with the kiddos, which is fine, but I just feel like I did everything, yet nothing.

Work is kinda busy, still preparing for the huge event. I will be done today, hopefully. At least now I am waiting on other people. I guess thats good. I don't like it, but at least my shit is all together and ready to go.

The boy went from an A in math at semester to an F. Now he's grounded. Holy shit, does everyone have this kind of just plain screwing off w/their teenagers? I just don't know what I can do different. I help them, I ask them every day if they have homework, if they do, do they need help. I just don't know how to impress upon them that they need to do good in school. It is causing me great stress.

I also start back to PT today. I am excited about it. Though I am almost wishing that all of this was about over. I am tired of having medical problems and going to drs, being poked and prodded and racking up enormous medical bills that I fear are not going to be paid. Add that to my list of stresses. I really freak out that I am going to be held liable for all these expenses. Just one of my neck surgery's was 3500. Which isn't that bad, but I wouldn't have needed it. I also have over 2000 in just PT co-pays. Sheesh. Which, reminds me. I need to schedule some Dr. appts. I really need life to just let me breathe for a minute. Just a quick, deep breath. Let me relax.

{Listening to Under the Radar by Underworld}

Its Friday!!!

Its a great day. The honey is home.. ok, well he's landed and on his way to the house. Its been 2 weeks and I have missed him alot. WOOT for gettin busy.

So, I have posted a week or so ago entitled "2 Weeks". I usually don't get comments or even know if people read my blog. Thats fine, its mostly just a vent for me to write how I'm feeling physically as the accident injuries/recoveries are progressing, how I'm feeling about life, the kids, work; more like a typed word vomit of whatever I'm thinking about. So.. anyway, on the post entitled 2 Weeks, I see a comment. I get a few here and there, but this is an uncalled for, unwarranted spew of shit that just irritates me that people have the nerve to impose their view on me or (if I have any) my readers. Its just ignorant and presumptuous that I am interested in their shit. Especially since I don't think I've ever written anything about my political or religious views on here. I could understand maybe they read it and thought i was a kindred spirit, but Nope, I don't have any of that. And, for what its worth, I'm pagan or agnostic. My beliefs are, just that... my beliefs. If someone asks, I'll share, otherwise, they get to be all mine. So, not only is the comments posted by a chicken shit Anonymous poster, they are offensive to my beliefs. I thought about deleting them, but am still undecided. Especially as I write this and wonder if (anyone is reading this) a comment, out of the blue, completely unrelated to the post topic is truly offensive or if I am perhaps taking it too personal. Either way, shut up and get off my web door cowardly Anonymous poster.

So, the honey is home, the kids are home from school today due to snow today. We didn't get the blizzard like they said we would, but it still piled a few inches up .. in the middle of April. I was worried that the Honey wasn't gonna get home, and he wouldn't have if the blizzard had actually come through, but my life was smiled upon and the kids didn't have school and the honey made it home! Happy Friday the 13th!!

I didn't get PT this week because of my schedule having to take the kids to school this week with the Honey gone, but I havent' felt bad. I have been doing my exercises, felt completely exhausted after work, but other than a little bit of stiffness, not so bad. I still think i'm losing a little bit of weight, but will be grateful to get back to PT next week. I know I do almost all the exercises at home, but something feels better about doing them at the PT gym. I wish I could go to the gym and do regular exercises, but not yet.

Work is kinda slow, but I'm busy getting ready and getting this packed up for a big event. All the stuff gets shipped next thursday so I need to have it all ready to go by then. And, its a lot of stuff. But, its coming together, mostly just paperwork now and identifying the equipment in the boxes, etc. But everything is pretty much tagged and only a bit more sorting and getting the odds and ends together and boxed.

{listening to Force Ten by Rush}

What? There was a holiday?

I missed it. Things were kinda nuts and we had no Easter. The honey is still on the road, the kids spent most of their day on a plane returning home. Then we spent more time on the road because of weather.

This morning the kids didn't want to get up for school. I think its kinda sucky they didn't get any time back before school, but I didn't make the travel, so I had no control. The roommate took the kids to school, but had a tiff about the princess wearing flip flops. I just can't cope with argument over fucking shoes at 6 in the morning. Like to the point of telling her to change shoes or call a cab. UGH!.. and she's stubborn enough to hold out on that shit, trying to change his mind. God dammit. He's doing me a favor but fucking christ. I guess I will be working late 4 days this week. I dont' know how she's going to get to cheer tomorrow if I do that. Fuck.

Did I mention FUCK!!

So i have therapy today. Which will be good. my neck is sore, but not horrid. I am looking forward to therapy though. Driving in the snow yesterday pretty much tensed me up.

Work will hopefully be slow because not only is the Honey out, but 2 other people are gone as well. Holy shit we will be sooo short handed if its busy.

{Listening to cover of Dave Matthews Band song 'Satellite' bye Mika}
If you haven't listened to Mika, you should. He rocks.

2 weeks..

since i posted. Man. I just really haven't felt like posting or haven't had time to post. I actually had one started the other day, but it got deleted when I had to leave my train of thought for a couple of hours because of work.

Things have been.. well.. they just really been. Work has been busy, but not bad. I have been feeling alright, but not superb. My neck is still stiff, especially after PT. The kids are still gone so the house is quiet. The Honey had to take an emergency 2 week trip up and down the east coast, so the house is now REALLY quiet. Me & the roommate generally interact for a little while, catch dinner, then he goes to work. I have been tired, crampy, etc. Trying to sleep with Honey gone.

I called my Dr. to give him an update. He had never heard to the phantom itching crap that I feel.I said that it was tolerable since the pain has receded by a considerable amount, though it still is very stiff a lot of the time. I need to followup with him in another 2 weeks and then call my pain dr. for followup with him. Hooray for dr. appts.

Life has been pretty quiet without the kiddos here. I miss them terribly, but they are having fun at the beach and with their cousins and their grandparents. Today they are back at their dads for the remainder of their visit. They come home sunday. I am still nervous about them changing planes, but its not like they are little kids. They are teenagers after all. I still worry. I guess it doesn't change from when they are little and you worry about them riding their bike to their friends house around the corner... just the same worry on a grander (is that a word?) scale. Plus, they travel all easter sunday. Maybe we'll have to go out to dinner or something. Hrm.

{Listening to Penitentiary Philosophy by Erykah Badu}

OMG teehee teehee

That is the sound of girls giggling. You know, the high school cheerleader type. Yeah. I got one in my house now. The princess made the Varsity Competition Cheerleading team. Not bad for a freshman, gonna be sophmore. I am so very proud of her, now she needs to learn to shake her ass, cause the girl can't dance. I am now dreading the financial committment to this thing. This isn't like a regular cheerleader. You know the kind that cheers at football games and shit. Noooo.. thats not what this is. This is the shit that they show on ESPN. Only they don't show the high school version, they show the college version. So, its like $60/mo (not nearly as bad as we paid for gymnastics alone) and $3000 plus travel expenses. Yeah. I will be a hurting financially mutha. Still, I'm proud of her.

The boy is going to be running track once spring break is over. I hope he sticks with it. The kiddos are off to sunny San Diego for 2 weeks. They are already having fun, though the princess is missing her first meeting for cheer and I get the privledge of going for 2 hrs. HOORAY for being a mommy! *eeek*

Work has alot of things going on in the next two weeks so I am glad that they are off school and I really don't have to worry about it. I have had a stiff/sore neck and it doesn't seem to be getting much better. Though, I must say, its still better than it was and I am doing my PT exercises. Still hard to evaluate how much the rhizotomy is working/worked. I hope I don't have to do it again. I really really really hope I don't have to do it again.

So to sum up the weekend: It was quiet with the kids gone. Kept hearing noises thinking it was them. The princess got chosen for Cheer. I got the pleasure of driving in a blizzard; this was a fucking blast. NOT! Went shopping, got a new bra, after having the trauma of VS not carrying the bra I've worn for the past 10-15 yrs. The new one is awesome, but I have to take it back due to some shiteous stitching. I am sad. I also took some of the Princesses advice and got some tighter shirts. I tried on pants, but they really didn't fit. I couldn't hit the Levi's outlet for ones like I found the other day because of the snow storm. Lets just say that if you have any kind of ass, ultra low rise jeans don't cut it. Or rather, they cut it.. in half. So I passed on the jeans. I played my game and advanced my 2nd character to the maximum level. Now I need to make some money and get my main one back into the swing of things. Maybe over the next couple weeks while the kiddos are gone, if I feel like it.

So, shopping, no kids and a bit of pain. It wasn't such a bad weekend.

{listening to Peace Train by 10,000 Maniacs}

So on a daily note..

Now that my rant is over, my daily or however often I post update of whats going on is coming.

I am obviously, not emotionally well today.

I had therapy yesterday, which was good, but hurt. I am sore today, but its not hurty, its just muscle sore. Man, do I hope that the surgery worked and keeps up.

The Princess still can't dance, but practiced with the Varsity Cheerleaders last night. She has tonight and tomorrow for the remainder of auditions. If she makes it, I will be happy for her. She will have to work her ass off and grades will have to come first. I will also have to pay $3000 to do this, it will cut into her summer vacation, and $60/mo for gymnastics with her team. However, she's good at being a gymnast. She will be a good competitor if she sticks with it. She's just gotta learn how to dance.

The Boy is still a teenage boy. A kid at their Jr. High committed suicide last week so that has been weighing on him. The kid that died was a friend of the Boy, but not a close friend. They hung out at school only. Fortunately, the Boy took advantage to talk to the counsellors about what he was feeling and how it impacts him. I think that our early sessions with a counsellor for anger management and the open and frank way we deal with depression in our house helps him to be less repressive and more open in talking to people. I am grateful for this. There is a school memorial for the kid today. I am not sure how I feel about this. I am not sure as a parent how I would feel if it were my kid that died. But, the Boy got up, dressed himself respectively today to attend.

Honey comes home tonight. I am grateful. I haven't been sleeping well because of pain and him not being there. The puppies miss him too. The Roommate has been awesome in helping when the Honey has been gone, even though it inconveniences him. I sometimes think that maybe he should think about getting his own place, but I would really miss him if he did that and he helps SO much with the kids. Truly a great roommate, in the grand scheme of things. And a great friend too, which sometimes makes me happy that he's there.

Tonight I have to work until 5, go home, start making the tacquitos for the princesses Fiesta tomorrow, get the honey from the airport around 6:30, get the Princess from tryouts at 7:30, get more tacquitos made. Get lots of them made. I am already tired from not sleeping well, but damn, I got shit to do.

Work is busy, there is stuff i should be doing, but am not. There is stuff I am doing that doesn't need to be done right now. They are painting the new area today, it smells, I might be high. We should be moving in either later this week or next. It is not ideal. It is less than good. It is what we've got.

See what reading gets you?

So the Honey has been away on business this week. Thankfully, his trip is ending a day early and he gets to come home tonight. I truly miss him when he's gone. Even though sometimes, we hardly have anything to say to one another at home (its all been said at work), I still miss him not sleeping in bed with me. It also gets my mind reeling about his past indiscretion and emotional adultery. While we are not married, in the eyes of god or the state or whatever, we've been together 5 years and live together. We have have a house together, cars together, finances together. I absolutely love being with him and he is truly the absolute best partner I have ever had. He is appreciative, sincere, funny, smart, helpful. He is a totally great guy. I love him. I however, have never had a relationship where my partner hasn't cheated. I have never once cheated on a partner, but in some karmic retribution way, I must deserve this. I realize my own faults in a relationship, work hard to acknowledge them and resolve them as they come up. I also know that I have never stayed with a partner once I have found out about the cheating. I have called it quits, moved on, moved forward and left the relationship behind me. Never have I actually wanted to work things out. Seems as though the cheating was the out I needed or wanted and just took advantage of the opportunity that was knocking.

That all being said, I have some insecurity and trust issues in a relationship. I can generally keep them in check and recognize what is mine to own and what is someone elses shit that I don't really have to deal with. About a year ago, I learned that Honey had been having what I am terming an "emotional affair" with his ex-girlfriend. Background on ex-girlfriend is that he dated her for almost 12 years. In that 12 years, he was ALWAYS the other man. She had boyfriends with him on the side, she has a husband, with him on the side. Other boyfriends while with husband with him on the side. I know her, I've seen her in action with him. He and I were friends for several years before we actually got together and we were friends through his breaking it off with her. I know what she did to him emotionally during their relationship and during their breakup. She is manipulative to the point of sickness, a coke abuser, a liar, and just generally not a very nice person. Now, this is not just my opinion of her. Every single one of the Honey's friends and family had NOTHING nice to say about this woman.

Ok.. so back to the tale of my woe. About a year ago, I found out that Honey had been talking to her, at length, every single day. She had been emailing him suggestive and often sexual photos of herself. She told him she loved him and wanted him to get back together, etc., etc. I also found out that this had been going on for the duration of our relationship. Now, because I know her, and I know how incredibly manipulative she is, I had told him, in the very beginning, that I didn't like him talking to her. I am not normally a jealous or overbearing, ultimatium giving kind of partner, but with her, I felt I needed to express my inability to deal with her in our relationship. Fast forward to Xmas 2005. We are on the road, heading to his parents house for the holiday. We are talking in the car, and as the result of the conversation, I asked if he had talked to her. Honey said No, not in years. Ok.. fast forward to mid-January. Honey left his computer on, is out and about. Asks me to look at his computer for something. I do. Guess what I see? Gushy mushy all over his IM with HER. I read through it, I snooped and found more. Going back to just shortly after our relationship started. YEARS!. I was Horrified. I was absolutely incensed. I was fucking pissed. I let it sit for a bit, I called my sister, she and I talked it out. How in the fuck could he bold faced lie like that? just a month ago? What the hell? So when he finally got home, I let him have it. I was honestly ready to leave. I was ready to pack my shit, grab the kids, find a fucking hotel until we could get an apartment and just leave. But, I couldn't. I wasn't ready, I'm still not ready to give up on Honey. We talk...and talk.. and I rant and rave and he talks and rants and raves. Things calm down for the night. Rinse and repeat for the next couple weeks as I try to digest all this and figure out what the fuck I need and want to do.

We get to a place. An ok place for the time being. I absolutely forbid him his talking to her, emailing her, chatting with her, etc. He says he complies. A couple weeks later, I'm talking to a mutual friend of mine, Honey and Her, who doesn't know what has transpired. He proceeds to tell me that She has been ranting and raving about what a bitch I am and how I am unreasonable and abusive and friend needs to get Honey out of that relationship. I also learn how she's been emailing and IM'ing and calling and he's not responding (whew, lucky honey on that one). However, all of this makes me question, what did Honey tell her? So, I am now pissed off. Did he just stop talking to her? Did he just put the blame on me that i won't "let" him? So, we start in on Round 2 of the talking and ranting and raving and crying. I make him call her on the phone with me there and explain this shit to her. How I can't deal with the I love yous, I want you with me (she's still married with a boyfriend living with her and her husband), the daily conversations about our life, the frustrations about work, money, etc that he doesn't tell me. I could give a flying rats ass if she thinks its me. I really am not up for caring what a coke whore lying manipulator thinks of me. She says I'm an immature stupid bitch and need to get over myself. They hang up. That is feb 2006.

Since then, we, both Honey and I, have worked on our relationship. Until this blew up, we had a good relationship. But, we have both put in exhaustive measures, counseling, etc to make a go of this. Yet, there are times, when the whole thing creeps back in. The years of lying to my face about talking to her. The distrust is still there. I realize that I own this distrust. Honey is absolutely understanding that I am not capable of just "dropping it". He does all the reassuring that he can when I get in a tissy about it, when it consumes me and I worry about it. I worry about what in our relationship is so wrong that he has to go back to her. How horrible do I have to be that he chooses everything I know about their previous relationship (not good things..) over what we have?

The JUICE OF THE POST..
Well.. he's been travelling alot. Our mutual friend said he (friend, not honey) was talking to her. I start getting in my head that maybe he's telling the truth that Honey is not talking to her, but perhaps he's talking through friend to her. This sets off all my emotions about did I do the right thing? If he would just tell me he was talking to her, there would be a clear path for my resolution. As it is, I mostly, deep down, believe it when he says he isn't. I think (hope?) that he realizes that despite some of our issues (which are few and this is the absolute most major), we have a good thing going. Then I start reading blogs and come across one about a cheating husband and all the emotions that go with that. It just stirs up so much more and raises everything I am trying to hard to push down, up to the surface. So I dump on him. While he's in the airport, waiting for his plane to bring him home, to all my insecure bullshit. I am very careful in expressing that I recognize this is MY bullshit. MY baggage. MY whateveryouwanttocallit. I know its mine. I know that this was triggered by nothing that he said or did or didn't do or say. But I need him to help me move forward..today. Get me through it. But he's not here. So I get to rant on my blog and simmer in my self-created shit stew.

more poking and prodding

What a crazy last week (almost) it has been. Work, still crazy busy with shit to do. Honey is traveling on business so this week is even more convoluted than usual because of having to change my schedule around so that I can get the princess to school.

So, to catch up. I had my rhizotomy last Wednesday. This went well. I was out of it for Wed and Thurs and still too sore on Fri to go to work. Saturday started feeling a bit better, but am still sore today. I have therapy today, so we'll see how that goes. As far as the surgery went, I have minor to moderate actual sensation in the left side of my neck. I can feel pressure and I can feel that the muscles themselves are tight and sore, but beyond that, I can't feel much. I have what I call "phantom itches" where my neck itches, but i can't actually feel it when I scratch. Its weird to say the least. We will see how the therapy goes today. Its not quite been a week, but it definately feels better.

While I was out the latter half of last week, work went to hell in a handbasket and I am in fear that a personality conflict is going to cause me to lose the best helpdesk person I have. Our furniture fell through for the new expansion area, so now we are getting shiteous furniture with no walls. Like I thought a cube farm for the helpdesk was going to be crap, now its going to be just fucking tables and shit, but not really tables. I guess counters is a more apt description. I guess thats what I get for working at a non-profit.

On Friday, the Princess became grounded. She got a whole 4 F's on her report card. I about shit and lost my lid with her on Friday. She has no internet, no phone, no friends until they are C's. She did not enjoy the weekend, or the constant lectures about grades.

My nephew got in a horrible car accident and totaled his truck on Friday night. I found out Saturday when my sister called me. He was drinking and driving, wrapped his truck around a tree and rolled it a couple times. He and his girlfriend are ok, surprisingly still alive, and just banged and bruised. He is 17. He was arrested and has no truck and no license now, as well as an aggravated DUI. He is such a good kid, but reminds me of his dad.

My other sister sent me the family photos and photos of my littlest niece. I got those on Thursday. They (the niece pictures) are soo cute. Man, she looks like she's going to be a fireball. Just the little look in her eye says mischief. The family pictures are about as I figured and I don't care for them because I am fat (at least according to myself). But I went and bought some frames on Sunday anyway. I also actually bought a pair of flip flops. Now they are nice leather flip flops, that I actually wore to work yesterday, but they are still flip flops, which I don't buy and don't wear. So, that was a change.

Nothing eventful for St. Paddy's day. This made me sad, but I just wasn't up to it. Had to make some food for a Cultural Event happening of some sort for the Princess to get 50 points extra credit in 2 of her flunking classes. This was a must. I also have to make more food on Wednesday. Not sure how all thats going to work out since I have to work till 5 and take her to cheer tryouts.

yes, I gave in on grounding for cheer tryouts. I only did it because I don't think that its fair for her to miss the tryouts for next season. That takes away motivation for the whole next year. Maybe I am too easy, but she's got tryouts the 4 days this week. She was embarrassed that I went and stayed and watched. I think this was good enough. It is my intent to do this for the rest of the sessions, but I don't know because I have shit to do this week, including therapy, working late and making her more food for the fucking fiesta in her spanish class. So we'll see.

Hopefully honey comes home tomorrow instead of thursday. There is just too much to do this week. UGH.

Time Flies when you are having fun...

Or when you are just incredibly busy. Work, not fun is what has prevented me from posting lately. Work is on the order of psychotic. 10 laptops to build in a week, specialized installations. Its a blast. Tons of other weirdo problems that have to be dealt with including a mass influx of hardware issues. People being pissy, shit being broke (not my responsibility stuff).

I have generally felt like major doo doo. My neck has been stiff, clear down into my shoulder. I did therapy tuesday and thursday of last week and just couldn't deal with the exercises. I couldn't hold my posture for more than about 5 mins at a time without excruciating pain and stiffness. I kept having to slouch(sp?) just to get a minute of reprieve. My shoulder was dang near immobile because of the stiffness. Therapy did some deep tissue work and this helped some, but man, it was horrible. This crap continued through the weekend and didn't really do much. Stayed with my trusty flexeril most of the time, but that doesn't help when the stiffness and tightness is extreme.

The Honey, the Boy, the Roommate and some friends all went to see 300 in the IMAX. They had a great time. Said the action scenes in the IMAX were amazing. The Princess and I went to see Music and Lyrics. This was a cute chick flick. I will probably buy it on DVD. It wasn't as horrible as the reviews have made it seem, but definately a chick flick.

I played my game some, though I didn't really get much accomplished with my main character. I mostly leveled up some lower level ones. It was fun, but I wish that I could have gotten more done with my main. Unfortunately she is at the point of relying on others to assist. Oh well.

Tomorrow is my rhizotomy. I am somewhat looking forward to it because I am hoping that it will provide more permanent relief of the pain and stiffness. I am also dreading it. I just know that it will be painful for recovering over the next few days. Scheduling work around those days has been not so great because the Honey is at a conference and can't take me or pick me up. I have to have the roommate come pick me up and then have honey and roommate go get my car that night. Oh well, I think that after tomorrow I won't care about much other than the recovery pain. I also have therapy today, which hopefully will do me some good. I cannot take any meds until after my procedure. That is no good. Oh well, i've been living that worse for the last 8 months or so, I can cope with a few more days (hopefully).

Besides all that, the kids have had standardized testing and the Boy is hellaciously sick with some sinus infection. The princess has decided to quit track. They go visit their dad in 2 weeks, for 2 weeks. I am going to miss them terribly. The good news is that he has been pleasant the last few times i've talked to him, but the bitch girlfriend hasn't been around either.

one week older...

whats going through my head with that title is "another day older and deeper in debt". Thats not exactly how i am feeling, but it was in my head.

Actually, it has been a fairly calm week since I last posted. Work has been busy. I have been going to PT and rushing the kids to and fro. My neck is severely stiff and i can't hardly move my arm at all because it has tightened down into my shoulder blade. At PT yesterday they loosened it up and I muscle relaxed my way to slumberland last night, but it still is really painful and sore. Yet, I am at work. I really want to stick it out today.

The kids are having CSAP testing, which is the colorado version of standardized testing. The princess's schedule is all messed up because of it and I am trying to finagle actually getting her to school for her 10:15 start time. Its just crazy that they don't think about how parents are to get the kids to these classes, just that they better. What a crock of shit, but what can you do. Not like schools think about the impact they have on the families when they make stupid ass decisions like this.

Next week is the rhizotomy. I am nervous for that. The honey has training all week and probably won't be able to take me. The following week he leaves for business for 4 days. That is also going to suck because my whole schedule gets fubar'd. I hate having to switch shifts to take the kiddos to school and what not.

I finally got my TENS machine from physical therapy and boy does that help alot. Its very nice to sit and relax for 15 mins while I have that on. I am bummed that I have been too hurty to do my exercises for the past 2 days, but we'll see. Tomorrow is another day of PT, hopefully I'll not be so stiff and in pain. The biggest thing is that my muscles are just spasming from my shoulder up to my neck. 2 Days of this and its old and annoying and painful. I actually directed the boy through making dinner last night because I couldn't use my left arm without some crazy pain and spasm.

The roommate is all up in arms about the game and what they did to his most powerful character. We ran a quick low level instance last night and he was NOT happy about it. Honestly, I didn't see much difference, however, I do think there would be more noticable difference in a higher end instance. Which is unfortunate, but oh well. I guess I just can't get myself worked up over dmg loss or whatever. It is just a game. I'll play it as long as I have fun. If they need to reduce some characters dmg or threat output to make things even among the classes or whatever, then great, do it. He just tends to obsess about the game and shit. Yes, a true addict. I am not. I can go for days without playing, even weeks and it doesn't bother me to just come back and pick up where I left off. Anyway, I have been having a bit of fun. I have been trying to get my end game dungeon keys and shit like that. Its all very boring and difficult stuff because you have to rely on others to help with this stuff. Getting those others to help when I'm available has been a challenge, so I just wait.

The construction started on the server room to build cubes and such. This is where my new cube will be. I am giving up my office to the Network and System Administrators. This i don't really care about. I am also getting a huge manager's cube. I guess this is fine too. I am more worried about having a lab area to work on machines. Which I get. Sometimes its nice to be the only female voice. They sometimes listen to me more. We had a meeting yesterday. The boss wanted all of us to "brainstorm and research" on worldwide outage notification and how we can manage it for 3K users. So I took 10 mins to google it and see whats out there. We had about an hour to prep for the meeting. I researched some things, just glancing over them to see would they, at the most basic level, meet the vague needs that were provided. We get into the meeting and i am the only one who even looked into it. Fortunately, I had covered the bases that were floating around the boss' head in regard to what he had in mind. The meeting was short because of this. I'm glad of that, but everyone was like "way to go E!, you're a rock star" I am a rock star because I looked into it? HA! excellent. I love that. Remember the rock stardom at review time in 2 months. I think we are still on hold for the 3rd position on the Helpdesk. I still think they are going to want me to manage said Helpdesk. Not that I don't already, cause I mostly do, but I don't have the accountability for it, well not really. Shit falls apart and I was responsible for it, I still have to account, but right now there is a buffer between me and the next boss up and he generally takes the hit for me if he has to, which he doesn't often, but he has. Mostly in dealing with irate people in the wrong. Oh well, not like I haven't managed things before. I guess getting in at the beginning of a world wide helpdesk from the bottom end is good, right? I just worry about losing my technical skills. Will have to keep up with that should management happen. Otherwise, I'm not too worried about it.

{listening to Home Again by Oingo Boingo}

Ice Skating anyone?

Yeah.. so we got hit with snow yesterday and it proceeded to turn all the roads into ice skating rinks. I-25 had a 40-50 car pileup that closed the highway for HOURS. Multitude of accidents aroudn town, etc. This morning we had a delay and I just didn't want to get out of bed and come to work. I drove on the rink and it was horrid. Got to sliding pretty good in a few spots, thankfully, not over the bridge. Now I'm at work, 2 hrs late, but here (I still had about an hour and a half before work actually opened). We are done getting snow until tomorrow night and today is starting off to being a sunshine-y day! Hooray. Maybe it will be all melted off by the time I leave work. I do love me some short work days though.

I have PT today. I am glad to go, but am super sore today. I feel like I need to have my back adjusted. Maybe I can get them to do it for me. Hrm.. I also get my tens machine which should help my muscles in my neck.

I am currently disappointed in my attorney. I faxed them one of my medical bills and got a call back saying "you're gonna have to pay that". I about shit. That is part of the reason I hired an attorney so that I don't have to pay out of pocket medical expenses that will bankrupt me while I am continuing treatment. As I explained to the Assistant to the Legal Assistant "I have amassed a small fortune in co-pays and know that I need to pay them, but the reason I hired you was so that I didn't have huge out of pocket medical expenses and don't get sent to collections for not paying the bills" The assistant then said that she would have the Legal Assistant call me. Hasn't happened. They called me on Monday, it's Thursday, no word from the Legal Assistant. Hrmm. Maybe my point got through so they will do, oh I don't know, what I'm paying them to do? Its a thought.

One of my oldest and bestest friends called and he's moving to Denver and getting his social networking business up and running in Denver/COS. He wants me to be part of the launch and corrdination here in COS. I dunno if I can do it. It takes a whole lot of time, effort, corrdinatation, partying, etc. that I am not sure I have with a full-time job, 2 teenagers, physical therapy and injuries. I told him we would talk about it.

Hopefully work won't be so bad today. I am tired. Sinus headache coming on strong.

{Listening to the APL song by Black Eyed Peas}

Grumpdillicious

Yeah, i'm grumpy grumpy today. I went to bed pissed at the Princess because I can't seem to enforce the priority of school and doing well in school. I got up yelling at the boy because he was decided that the time he needed to get in the shower this morning was when I get in the shower..every morning. Plus, there were no towels.

Work is psycho stupid crazy. shit was broke this morning, fixed it, people calling because shit i can't fix is also broke, people calling this morning because they are too stupid to do their job and believe that we(me) should be doing it for them. Nevermind that I will teach you how to do it, no no.. god forbid that, just do it for them and thats good. One lady has called everyday since last thursday, about 5-6 times a day, with the same questions that we go over and over with her each time. She doesn't get it, she doesn't want to get it, she wants to keep calling me. Plus, she's a bitch because the fact that she doesn't get it and doesn't want to get it is somehow reflective upon me. Interesting.. run with that logic, darling. Run far, run fast.

Its supposed to snow today. I am sore from PT. It was quite the workout after not going for a week. Went to dinner last night, it was tasty, but the kids wanted to dish it out with each other but not take it. The Honey brought me breakfast today, because i asked him to, but i just asked him and hung up. I told him that i was grumpy and didn't want to grump at him for no reason other than i am pissy for a multitude of reasons.

So.. haven't even begun to bust out some itunes this morning. Maybe I should and i will start to be less grumpilicious. Hrm.. thought. Oh.. if you haven't caught the SNL skit with Justin Timberlake called "Dick in a Box".. catch it.. hilarious..

Holy helluva

What a week it has been. Things have gone from crazy to psycho at work. I was out Thursday with a migraine that just kicked my ass. Even migraine meds only 1/2 way did the trick. Vomiting, auras, head being pounded with what felt like a sack of bricks. UGH. I stayed in bed except to puke and pee. Not saying a whole lot since I couldn't even keep water down.

The Honey comes home tomorrow, the kids have things to do tonight and tomorrow. I have gotten my starbucks on Wed and Fri of this week, which was tasty. They just don't last long enough. HA! maybe I slurp them down?

I haven't done PT this week because of the messed up schedule. The migraine yesterday did not help my neck at all. I was in bed and finally had to take a Flexeril to combat the stiffness in my neck.

I am hungry today. Very hungry. I will be getting lunch in a bit. Not sure what I will be getting though.

So I made it...

This weekend was a long weekend. Had Monday off work due to presidents day. It was actually a fairly productive weekend. The kids had a good time, I went shopping, I gamed, there was cleaning done.

The Princess went up to Denver area to visit her friend she hadn't seen since 5th grade in Arizona. We took her up to Castle Rock to meet them on Saturday. The roads were total crap and icy on the way there. The Honey drove against his wishes, but I'm glad he did. I freaked the whole way and he didn't appreciate it, but still I don't know that I could have dealt with all the traffic and ice and pileups. So we had a bit of a row because I was freaking and he was generally pissed that I made him drive. He did it anyway, though, thats why I love him. He didn't just tell me to suck it up and get on the road myself. Grumpily, he drove it. He didn't protest at doing it, just let it be known he wasn't happy about it. When we finally got home, he went to the movies with his friends while I stayed home. Figured space was needed after 2.5 hrs in the car with a freaking out woman who was riding your ass because she was freaking out. The boy went to the movies with his friends, hung out with friends, did whatever it is that boys do with their friends. He helped me clean, earned his money. I gamed. It was a nice day after the fiasco over driving, but everyone recovered.

On Sunday, the Roommate and I went back to Castle Rock to pick up the Princess. She had a good time, we ended up staying at the mall and shopping. Both the Roommate and I spent too much money, but I got a really cute Coach purse that I love a lot. The princess was a bit peeved cause she wanted one too. I just can't afford 2 Coach purses in a weekend. One was over my sensibilities limit. She got a sweatshirt and earrings and other stuff. The drive wasn't so bad since the roads were mostly clear. My car is a grimey mess after Saturday's drive. We went and had great sushi on Sunday night and the Princess went on a date, even though she says it wasn't a date. It was and she had a good time.

Monday was lounge around the house for the most part day. The Princess and I went shopping and I got 2 new sweaters, she got a new pair of pants and the Boy got 2 shirts and a sweatshirt. The Honey and I went on a date for dinner. It was Chili's but it was tasty. The Boy went and hung out with his friends, went to a movie, played some football. It was a great day outside both Sunday and Monday. Hopefully more this week.

Tuesday is starting out fairly rough at work. Crazy problems, crazy people. People unavailable because they just don't want to work on the issue. *sigh* its kinda crazy busy. I have therapy today. The Honey leaves on business tomorrow morning. He's gone the rest of the week and comes home on Sat. My hours are adjusted so that I can take the kids to school. Its just going to be a crazy week.

Starbucks rocks

So, its finally friday. Thank god for small favors. I am SORE SORE SORE after PT yesterday. My neck is nearly immobile. Not necessarily because of PT, but mostly because we have started light exercises and it works those muscles, which are not so politely refusing to be worked at all. It is just more confirmaton of the rhizotomy in a month to hopefully provide a more permanent relief. Though, at only 2 weeks after the facet injections and the pain is returning in full force, I don't have high hopes that the rhizotomy will actually be permanent. Nonetheless, the March 14 appointment can't come soon enough.

So a friend of mine sent me an email informing me that the Starbucks is offering free t-shirts Feb 15-Feb 28. They have a limited number each day and a specific time that they get started giving them away. I got mine yesterday and it is in the mail. But, anyway, the design of the t-shirt is "Your" starbucks drink. And you customize it and they put that on a t-shirt and send it to you for free. Now.. I love starbucks. Probably more than the next person, but less than some people. So, I naturally got my t-shirt. I also had to call my sister to tell her since we used to go to starbucks EVERY morning on our way to work. This was a few years ago when we worked near each other and actually lived in the same state. She also used to be a Starbucks manager and continues to have her daily starbucks. Unfortunately for me, I don't get mine daily anymore. Mostly because I have to be at work before Starbucks opens, so there really is no point in stopping if they are closed and can't give me my coffee. But.. a free t-shirt, customized by me, yeah.. starbucks rocks. The honey is going to bring me starbucks this morning. He is awesome.

I am still listening to madonna. I think I have like 3 more albums left. I *might* get through them today. Its not torture, otherwise I would change it. I can do that since I really am in control of the iTunes, right? Right. HA. iPod/iTunes controls me!! I still love my iPod, though I haven't listened to it much in the past couple weeks. I just been busy. I need to get in the habit of listening to it while I sit at my computer.

Speaking of computers. The Princess' power supply went out yesterday. She had a near panic attack because she was chatting with J, the boy that she fancies. I got her hooked up on the laptop. This took all of about 2 minutes and she was freaking. *sigh* Teenage girls are sooo dramatic.

The boy wanted to stay home sick yesterday. I made him go to school. He came home after puking in the hallway on the way to the nurses office and when he got there had a fever of 100. Oops, my bad for not believing he was sick. I apologized to him, but he was still jumping around and not looking like he feels sick when I got home.

The princess is home today not feeling good. She is also just kinda not going to school to get some chores done so that she has money to go to Parker to visit her friend this weekend. She had a tough time deciding if she wanted to stay home or go to school because she doesn't get to have her date with J. tonight or go out with any other friends. Its a rule. You stay home sick from school, you stay home sick from friends. She tried to beg, plead, steal, bargain me out of it, but I have held firm on that one with the Boy so many times, its easy to to stick on that one.

Hopefully work will be slow enough that I can just cruise through the day and not actually have to do any mind work. I do have to deal with Pivot table troubleshooting, though, which is sucky and I will have to think about it. But, its one of those things that if I can't figure it out, I'm off the hook. Those kinds of things are kinda best effort. Most things I can tell you how to do, or how to figure out, pivot tables are their own little beast that I try to stay away from.

{listening to Don't Cry for me Argentina by Madonna(of course)}

deadlines & viruses

This week has just been crazy at work. Our satellite offices (about 300 of them) have a deadline for submitting data to us. We provide the format and the data required. They decide (as they do every year) that the last 3 days is when they need to hop on getting their data submitted. As the only person that is supporting the software used for submitting the data, I have been busy busy busy. I also have a user who is crying because her home computer is just totally infected with a virus. Cleaning this over the phone is rough. I am about ready to offer to come over to her house to fix it or try to. Its just rough. We also launched a new program yesterday, that, SURPRISE .. is broken. Now this isn't our groups fault, we just have to take all the irate phone calls for it. Please note the release of another product back in Sept/Oct that caused me headache. I believe i documented my pain and suffering in the blog back around that time. Well.. this product is based o the previous product, by the same screwball development company, who couldn't find their ass with both hands and a map. This has caused a ton of work for the honey, and my headache with the whole thing is just starting since they released a piece of shit.. again. The project manager of this project is a total moron and I don't know how he keeps his job. He fucked up the last release, he's fucking up this one. We've lost funding, schools, teachers, etc. and he maintains his stupid job. If i even thought about fucking up 1/2 as bad as he has, I would be fired. Fortunatley, I don't fuck up on that scale, or that often.

My neck is hurting and like i have mentioned, just gradually getting worse. Its still better than it was, but I am hoping that the rhizotomy is a more permanent type of resolution. The knot is back, the stiffness, catching and headaches are back, though not as severe. I have PT today and am still doing light neck exercises. We have stepped up some of the knee exercises too, which is good.

I wore my size 14 pants today to work. They were tight, but not uncomfortable. I was proud of this. I think I am going to try on some more this weekend to see if its a fluke. 2 more sizes by may.. i think i can do it, but we'll see. I wish that I could do more cardio. My therapist said that I should ask the doctor if I can do treadmill and such at the gym.

Both the princess and the boy start track next week. The princess informed me that she is trying out for cheerleading for the fall. I think thats great, she can make varsity easy enough because of her gymnastics. Not sure that she has the rhythm to be a cheerleader, but she could probably do it if she tries hard and practices. The drawback to cheerleading is that it is holy hell expensive.

The princess is going to see her friend from 5th grade in AZ who lives in colorado now. I think she's spending the weekend there. We are meeting at the outlet malls in castle rock. I am gonna try to go shopping a little bit. I really want some new sweaters, maybe a Coach purse. We'll see how finances look though. The honey needs new tires on the Expedition.

The boy is complaining he is sick... again. I am wondering what is up with him. I made him go to school since he has or has tried to be out of school at least one day a week since the holiday break. They both get 2 weeks off here soon enough and will be spending it in sunny san diego with their idiot father. I didn't realize when he made the place reservations that he has them coming home easter weekened. This throws my plans out the window of going to IA with the honey, but oh well. We'll have to see how that all works out as the time nears closer.

I recently got all my madonna albums ripped to iTunes so I have been listening to Madonna. Man, I recognize that in the 80's my mom wouldn't let me wear the lace and necklaces and torn clothes, even though I did. But truly, her music hasn't aged past its prime. Sure there are some songs that are really 80's songs, but most of her stuff has maintained the sound of the current. This is just listening to the songs. I'm sure if I looked at the CD covers or watched a video I would cringe, run to a corner cower and cry. But the songs themselves have maintained relatively well. Even from the 90's, which were some of her better albums. I am also still a big fan of her most recent work. I type that because I have my iTunes to play the songs once, in order of least number of times played, until I cycle through them. I haven't gotten around to making actual playlists yet, but I kinda like this way because I get to hear the stuff that I don't normally choose on the ipod. So, anyway, since I recently imported Madonna, she's top of the not played list and I am just working my way through the list. Now, the drawback for this, is that once I go through her once, and all the other songs that haven't been played before, she's back at the top of only been played once. Fortunately, I also put some aerosmith in there that hasn't been played. So, for the next few days, I think I'll be listening to some aerosmith and all of madonna. Flogging Molly and Elvis Costello are next though. I love Flogging Molly. One of my favorite bands of all time. I missed Tatu at Jack Quinn's last night, but oh well. I would have just liked to have gone and saw them.

{listening to La Isla Bonita (Instrumental version) by Madonna}