no rest for the weary

So yesterday I was totally busy at work interviewing people and trying to keep up with work, that I didn't even get a chance to jot something down in here.

I stayed up way too late on tuesday night, didn't sleep well because of my neck, and yesterday morning, stiff, sore and generally icky and tired, I snapped at the Honey for stupid stuff. I apologized later, but you know its gonna be a rough day when that happens before 8am. I have a giant knot on my arm from the flu shot. The Boy is home from school sick today. Honey hasnt been feeling well since he got his flu shot.

My neck has been nothing less than painful every day, but I know that I have to keep plugging along. I just can't seem to get any relief from it and it causing my head to pound. I seriously dislike being reliant on pain meds, yet because of how this is all being handled, I don't get to choose my treatment options, so, unfortunately, I don't have the ability for homeopathic treatments, or even acupuncture.

The interviews went well, and I think the guy they chose is an excellent choice. I wish they would have picked my friend, but unfortunately she didn't interview as well as the other guy. Such is life. Its too bad, I would have liked working with her again, but I also think that the guy they did pick will be pretty good and hopefully hit the ground running once he starts. It's going to be busy, but it will also allow the Honey and I to take vacation at the same time. WOOT for that.

Still haven't heard from the Ex about what his plans are for the kids for Xmas, but he'll figure it out and i'm not paying for it. He won't be happy with me, but oh well. He needs to figure it out. A couple weeks ago, he called to say he got to san diego, and there was a package in the mail for the Boys birthday and an envelope with money in it for me. Then last week he called and asked for the address, then this week, the kids got postcards. So much for that package, huh? He must really believe i am stupid, but really I just don't care enough about it to get into an argument. I am fine, the kids are doing fabulous, he can either give a shit or not, its not impacting mine or their daily life.

Beyond that..life is still just chugging along.. Pain every day, looking forward to seeing my family at Thanksgiving, but dreading it at the same time. I love my sisters and brother, I am not fond or especially happy about their relationship with my ex-boyfriend and feel like that is just straining everything. More with me than with them, because they don't give a second thought to my feelings. Plus, at this point, they are far more embedded in his life than in mine and its probably entirely pointless to ask for any kind of consideration to my feelings about the situation. However, if they want him at thanksgiving, I will make other plans. I have already been invited over to my friends house while i am in town and what not. I could probably stay with them if I wanted, and that would be alright too.

*sigh* stressing about upcoming events. terrible. not what i need. meditation after therapy tonight definately will be where i'm headed. I am tired and hurty too. maybe it will relax my mind enough to get some sleep tonight, though I am scheduled for some in game activity. Hrm.

{listening to Stupid Girl by Garbage} More apropros ITunes Shuffle

somedays

you just dont' want to crawl out of bed. I love my job, but i think i need a day off, soonish. Too bad i'm all out of vacation, or will be once i take all my holiday time off. I spose soon enough it will be thanksgiving and I will have a whole week off. In the meantime, I am busy.

Princess made varsity again, on XC. Its a fluctuating thing, she has to keep her times down. However, she did qualify for regionals and she gets to go to durango now. Which is what she was really striving for this season. She wants to see all her friends. Can't say that I blame her. I hope she gets to see them, even for a couple minutes.

The Boy was sacked out by like 6pm last night. I think he rode his ass off yesterday when he went on his little bike ride. Good for him, but still totally unlike him to just be asleep, and he was out.

I also think part the reason he sacked out was pure upsettedness. He got a voicemail from john advising that he (Ex) wasn't going to stop on his move to san diego. Then Princess said she actually talked to him and he said it was shorter to go through albuquerque. What an ass. Thats all i have to say. He has no idea how much his stupid little bullshit voicemail and phone call broke the kids hearts. Will they ever tell him that? hell no. Will he ever get a clue that he hurts them? probably not. God damn, that stupid shit pisses me off. No sense in getting into it with him though. he can't see other people's reasoning, especially not while he has his little potwhore. oh well *sigh*. maybe around 40ish he will grow up. By then his kids won't give a shit and they will be almost in college. maybe they will want to hang out and smoke pot with their dad. cripes, is that the best that they will want to do? i hope not. I hope he has pulled his head out before then.

PT yesterday was painful to say the least. I actually love the exercises and i know that they are what will help me get better, but damn, am i hurting after. mostly my neck though. I actually notice improvement with my knee and lower back. I am incurring a small fortune in co-pays. sheesh. You don't realize what 8 weeks times 2 session per week @ $25 per session is really nicking you for. And... thats not all of it. I have at LEAST another 6 weeks of it. Man, I wish I coulda saved that much. I would definately be able to afford my family vacation this summer.. ha!, we'll see. I will know around thanksgiving if traveling is even an option, at least now.

Hitting the library book sale this weekend. I love those. Also plan on doing some gaming tonight and tomorrow. I still am rather stressed out about the whole guild shit, but oh well, it will do what needs to be done. I just don't have the time or energy to put into it. Already I am stressed far too much over a stupid game.

{listening to 10538 Overture by ELO}

grumblin'

{Listening to: #34 by Dave Matthews Band}

I am tired. I am in pain. did i mention tired?
Ok, paused to get coffee.. yumm. today is a chilly, foggy day. I haven't watched the news to find out if its going to rain or snow or ice . Princess and I cleaned the house during the week. Not fun by any means, but the house is mostly clean. I think i might try carpets. I also might see about getting the damn tile laid out in the downstairs shower. Maybe i can start that. It needs to be done before the other shower falls apart. heh. Things you worry about when you buy a fixer upper. I love our house. I am tired of it bein white trash. I wish Honey would do more, but i can't seem to coax it out of him. Now that he has a job, maybe we can save for it.

Speaking of saving. I advised Honey that i would like to take a family vacation, on an airplane, staying in a hotel or rented condo next summer. I am hoping to get passports in the works too. but need to figure out what we are doing

Honey cracks me up. He bought himself a Nintendo DS today. Why? well, because he wanted something as "yipee i got a job" and because it will transfer games from the Nintendo WI. This made me laugh because the Wi isn't even out yet. You can't even pre-order it. Then he asked what i wanted for my b-day. Honestly, I don't know. The bathroom finished? help consistently cleaning the house? not to be in pain? no debt? plane tickets to AZ for thanksgiving?
Princess has a meet today. I hope she does well. She is still running varsity. I am proud of her and know that she is just kickin ass and takin names for a freshman. Found out that one of her XC teammates lives right by us. That is cool. Hardly any of them do. Her punishment for the grades is wearing off. I am letting her off with a week, and then once school starts she will be on limited computer time until her grades come up. No sense in dragging it out during the whole break, not going to help her at all.

The Boy's last football game was yesterday. He opted to ditch it. I can kinda understand why, he hasn't been played even in practice for the last couple weeks because of his tailbone, and in a 13 yr old mind, standing there is just a waste of time. There are people to chat it up with, things to do, etc. Still a bit pissed he gave up before the season was over, but oh well. He says he wants to run track. I hope he does. He's not the best athlete, but he tries and he's lost weight. I think he might do alright if he stuck with it. He just quits when he isn't the best. Now, his best friend is the best, the tallest,the most athletic, so i know its hard for christopher to not make a team or whatever. I hope he keeps tryin.

Ex was supposed to be here this weekend. Surprising (NOT!) that I haven't heard word one about whether he is stopping by to say hello for 10 mins to his kids. Stupid shit like that just annoys me. I think he will be surprised when i can't afford plane tickets for christmas. He needs to figure that out. I have paid or arranged payment for both kids on every holiday in the last like 3 yrs. He wants to see them, he can pay for it. Most of that has been me, willing to do whatever it takes to see Princess. Now, i love having them both with me, could care less really if they aren't with me for the holiday, and if he wants them, he needs to figure it out. And pay for it. I would consider helping him if he EVER followed through on a promise to help me out, but he hasn't, so i just don't give a shit. He can figure it out, see how it feels, work around my schedule. But that isn't even a consideration yet. He has to first talk to me about it. The last conversation was somewhat heated because i didn't give in to his every whim and volunteer to drop all my plans for what he wanted or volunteer to pay for it. We'll see how this pans out. The holidays aren't quite here yet.
{listening to Yaleo by Santana}
PS. I love the random shuffle on ITunes.