even bee's get to rest

Ho-ly crap has work been busy. Not just a little bit. Run ragged busy. Everything has been an emergency right now, people's computers breaking (don't get me started on my calls to HP support in the last 3 weeks), things not working quite right, bandwidth hogs making internet surfing at work near impossible, along with necessary things like actually working near impossible. I HATE WEATHERBUG! We allow people to have iTunes, yet they still stream music over AIM. People need to make themselves technologically aware of what they do, but they don't or won't, or whatever, and they will bog down those of us who actually NEED the internet bandwidth for job functions.

The dr. was fine. he checked me out, said wait for a call to schedule and MRI. said that it will rule out disk issues and down to muscle issues but that we would have to find some sort of therapy that works because 4 months later i have exhausted the standard techniques and its still not working. Its not like I make this shit up, it is visible in my lack of head mobility that things are wrong. The PTs can feel it, the dr. can feel it. We'll see. He was nice and personable, etc. Will have to have the PT send a report to him though, so he can see that history of treatment. Still, I get to wait for an MRI of my head and neck.. WOOHOO!!. there's some enthusiasm, even if feigned. I don't *think* I am claustrophobic, but I do believe I will be put to the test with 30 mins with my head in an MRI machine.

Vacation coming up, new guy starts next week, getting a hair cut and color to cover the gray. Its tough being a redhead when you have gray seeping in, its not like gray blends in with the red hair. Oh well, keep covering it up is what I will have to do. Have to at some point find black shirts for me and kids to wear during the family portrait taken over the holiday. I am more than thrilled

Ex called last night to rub in Princesses face that he bought girlfriend the pair of True Religion jeans that she wanted. Unfortunately, I was out before they finished the conversation so I didn't get to ask her about it. I also voted last night. Pleased with the over all result as I am what most would consider a liberal, however my state has me disappointed, but not surprised. Focus on the Family and New Life are extreme cult presences in this state and their followers are devout, if not crazy. You can also apparently hire male prostitutes and buy illegal drugs and live in one of these evangelical fantasy lands where all is happy and god loves you if you aren't homosexual. I despise hypocrites. These organizations have gone to far in their fantaticism to even recognize the beliefs behind the religion. The religion is its own monster.

no rest for the weary

So yesterday I was totally busy at work interviewing people and trying to keep up with work, that I didn't even get a chance to jot something down in here.

I stayed up way too late on tuesday night, didn't sleep well because of my neck, and yesterday morning, stiff, sore and generally icky and tired, I snapped at the Honey for stupid stuff. I apologized later, but you know its gonna be a rough day when that happens before 8am. I have a giant knot on my arm from the flu shot. The Boy is home from school sick today. Honey hasnt been feeling well since he got his flu shot.

My neck has been nothing less than painful every day, but I know that I have to keep plugging along. I just can't seem to get any relief from it and it causing my head to pound. I seriously dislike being reliant on pain meds, yet because of how this is all being handled, I don't get to choose my treatment options, so, unfortunately, I don't have the ability for homeopathic treatments, or even acupuncture.

The interviews went well, and I think the guy they chose is an excellent choice. I wish they would have picked my friend, but unfortunately she didn't interview as well as the other guy. Such is life. Its too bad, I would have liked working with her again, but I also think that the guy they did pick will be pretty good and hopefully hit the ground running once he starts. It's going to be busy, but it will also allow the Honey and I to take vacation at the same time. WOOT for that.

Still haven't heard from the Ex about what his plans are for the kids for Xmas, but he'll figure it out and i'm not paying for it. He won't be happy with me, but oh well. He needs to figure it out. A couple weeks ago, he called to say he got to san diego, and there was a package in the mail for the Boys birthday and an envelope with money in it for me. Then last week he called and asked for the address, then this week, the kids got postcards. So much for that package, huh? He must really believe i am stupid, but really I just don't care enough about it to get into an argument. I am fine, the kids are doing fabulous, he can either give a shit or not, its not impacting mine or their daily life.

Beyond that..life is still just chugging along.. Pain every day, looking forward to seeing my family at Thanksgiving, but dreading it at the same time. I love my sisters and brother, I am not fond or especially happy about their relationship with my ex-boyfriend and feel like that is just straining everything. More with me than with them, because they don't give a second thought to my feelings. Plus, at this point, they are far more embedded in his life than in mine and its probably entirely pointless to ask for any kind of consideration to my feelings about the situation. However, if they want him at thanksgiving, I will make other plans. I have already been invited over to my friends house while i am in town and what not. I could probably stay with them if I wanted, and that would be alright too.

*sigh* stressing about upcoming events. terrible. not what i need. meditation after therapy tonight definately will be where i'm headed. I am tired and hurty too. maybe it will relax my mind enough to get some sleep tonight, though I am scheduled for some in game activity. Hrm.

{listening to Stupid Girl by Garbage} More apropros ITunes Shuffle

winter is here...

{listening to A Night Like This by The Cure}

Yesterday, was a snow day. Not just any kind of snow day: a blizzard. The kids had off school, the honey and I both had off work. The snow and the wind blew from about 4am until about 7pm. We have more than a foot of snow on the back porch, with 3-5 foot drifts in the back yard. The kids played with the dogs in the snow. I really wanted to get out there and have a snowball fight or build a snowman, but my neck just didn't want that to happen. The kids dug out the snowboards and the sleds and played in the street. It was cold and wet and windy and most of all snowy. I worked from home most of the day doing email and what not, but it was a grand day. It was the Princess's first snow day ever so she was absolutely stoked. We cooked a warm breakfast, made some bread, made some hot cocoa from scratch, watched some movies, played some games. It was really a great family day.

I cancelled my PT appointment because they were recommending people stay off the roads during the blizzard. When I called around noon, no one answered the PT office phone, so I presume, like many other places, they were closed. I will call today to reschedule or at very least, set up my appointments for next week. I also need to call the pain specialist and get an appointment for there.

The honey drove me to work today, expecting the roads to be super icy. They weren't. They were pretty tame compared to what was on the news last night. I totally could have driven by myself. It truly was a good day yesterday, with the exception of my neck being stiff and on drugs and not being able to go out and romp in the snow with the kiddos. But alas, it was fun to watch, get a few pictures, laugh with the kids.

It was a good day. By Monday, the snow will be all gone. It will come again, but dang, was yesterday a beautiful, cold, snowy, winter day.

{listening to Nugget by Cake}

slammed

so yesterday i spent the morning throwing up in my office. my neck and head were hurting me so badly. A lady here in the office gratiously gave me some reiki, which tided me over until I got to the physical therapist. I got some soft tissue massage there. The therapist said holy crap was my left side tight. (DUH). I spent and hour at PT, and then had an hour and a half to kill before seeing the doctor. Drove to the doctor, put on some cranberries and enya and took a nap in the car for an hour and 15. Got into the dr. and fortunately didn't have to wait too long. Explained my situation and he referred me now to a pain specialist. I have to call them today and make an appointment. I have to keep up with the PT for my knee and neck and lower back, I have to get the soft tissue massages while i'm there. Criminey. I went home, loaded up on some pain and muscle meds and slept until 6, when I got a little something to eat, loaded up some more on pain and muscle meds and went back to bed. Small hello's and hugs from the kids and the honey. Except for the excruciating pain, uncontrollable vomiting, not a whole lot to yesterday.

In between grabbing something to eat, I managed to book the flights for baby sister and her kids to make it to arizona for Thanksgiving. Excellent. Will get to see all now.

So between friday and now, I had a birthday. It was uneventful to say the least. My mom and dad couldn't be bothered to call me, my brother and his girlfriend put a message on myspace for me, my kids and the honey remembered, the roommate remembered, middle sister called and remembered. That is the extent of it. somedays i really do feel isolated. My mom, whose birthday is the day before mine, told middle sister she forgot. how in the name of fuck, do you forget your kids birthday when it is the day after yours?!?! When I talked to my dad, he excused it by her being under alot of stress. There is a reason I have removed myself from them. They just don't get it.

More later, the day has started off with problems.