starting over

Its monday. Weekends never seem quite long enough. This weekend was spend, as most of the past have been spent: in pain. I didn't play my game, I shuffled the kids to and fro, cleaned a little bit around the house, slept alot and mostly hung out and watched movies and caught up on Tivo shows.

On saturday, the honey and I had an errand to run, so we did, grabbed a starbucks and went to barnes and noble. A few moments of quiet time just the two of us was wonderful. We chatted, looked at books, grabbed a nifty gift for a friend of ours whose birthday it was. Most excellent morning. I felt alright in the morning. Not great, but good enough to get out of the house. We took the gift over to our friends house, visited for a while. They have the cutest little baby, even though he was a grumpy pants and didn't wanna let me hold him. We had about an hour to kill before picking up the princess so we went and ate sushi. Delish!!. superb new little sushi place. The service was SLLOOOOOWW.. man, took an hour and a half for our sushi lunch, but it was fantastic and tasty. Kinda set the pace since we weren't in a hurry for anything. Picked up the princess from her friends house, stopped at Jamba Juice and got her fix, looked at lab puppies they were selling in the parking lot. The honey wouldn't get out of the car. He said if he let one of them crawl on him then he would have to buy one and we soo don't need another puppy. Man they were certainly cute, and the princess all but cried for it. But we held strong. Man, the honey and I are both suckers for animals. I would have a house full (not that I don't already).

I digress, once we left the cute little black lab puppies, we picked up the boy from his school where he had been flirting with his latest little girl friend. Its about to the point of annoying, but I suppose boys will be boys. Got home, and just felt wiped, started making dinner, was an evening warm enough for a cookout, so we had some garlic guiness steaks, with some grilled potatoes with veggies. Tasty goodness. Then it was movie watchin and sleepy time. I probably went to bed around 7 because i just couldn't stand it anymore. My neck ached and hurt, my head was starting to hurt. Just needed to lie down.

Sunday was mostly just lounging. Picked up the princess from her friends house, made a run to wally world only because the honey can't cope by himself with that many people. And man was it crowded. Got in and out and back onto the couch for a couple movies. Dinner was chicken and steak fajitas with refried beans & cheese. Damn tasty, though under appreciated in my house I think. Spent like an hour doing dishes, which just kills my neck. It is absolutely not good posture to scrub dishes.

Today is PT, with the sub PT, so I think I will feel better. Tomorrow is appointment with new doctors. Friday I got all my receipts and forms and such mailed back to the attorney. Hopefully they will get them. Thank goodness for copies. I keep a copy of damn everything for this stupid accident.

no rest for the weary

So yesterday I was totally busy at work interviewing people and trying to keep up with work, that I didn't even get a chance to jot something down in here.

I stayed up way too late on tuesday night, didn't sleep well because of my neck, and yesterday morning, stiff, sore and generally icky and tired, I snapped at the Honey for stupid stuff. I apologized later, but you know its gonna be a rough day when that happens before 8am. I have a giant knot on my arm from the flu shot. The Boy is home from school sick today. Honey hasnt been feeling well since he got his flu shot.

My neck has been nothing less than painful every day, but I know that I have to keep plugging along. I just can't seem to get any relief from it and it causing my head to pound. I seriously dislike being reliant on pain meds, yet because of how this is all being handled, I don't get to choose my treatment options, so, unfortunately, I don't have the ability for homeopathic treatments, or even acupuncture.

The interviews went well, and I think the guy they chose is an excellent choice. I wish they would have picked my friend, but unfortunately she didn't interview as well as the other guy. Such is life. Its too bad, I would have liked working with her again, but I also think that the guy they did pick will be pretty good and hopefully hit the ground running once he starts. It's going to be busy, but it will also allow the Honey and I to take vacation at the same time. WOOT for that.

Still haven't heard from the Ex about what his plans are for the kids for Xmas, but he'll figure it out and i'm not paying for it. He won't be happy with me, but oh well. He needs to figure it out. A couple weeks ago, he called to say he got to san diego, and there was a package in the mail for the Boys birthday and an envelope with money in it for me. Then last week he called and asked for the address, then this week, the kids got postcards. So much for that package, huh? He must really believe i am stupid, but really I just don't care enough about it to get into an argument. I am fine, the kids are doing fabulous, he can either give a shit or not, its not impacting mine or their daily life.

Beyond that..life is still just chugging along.. Pain every day, looking forward to seeing my family at Thanksgiving, but dreading it at the same time. I love my sisters and brother, I am not fond or especially happy about their relationship with my ex-boyfriend and feel like that is just straining everything. More with me than with them, because they don't give a second thought to my feelings. Plus, at this point, they are far more embedded in his life than in mine and its probably entirely pointless to ask for any kind of consideration to my feelings about the situation. However, if they want him at thanksgiving, I will make other plans. I have already been invited over to my friends house while i am in town and what not. I could probably stay with them if I wanted, and that would be alright too.

*sigh* stressing about upcoming events. terrible. not what i need. meditation after therapy tonight definately will be where i'm headed. I am tired and hurty too. maybe it will relax my mind enough to get some sleep tonight, though I am scheduled for some in game activity. Hrm.

{listening to Stupid Girl by Garbage} More apropros ITunes Shuffle

Happy Halloween!

Ok, so today, I got a flu shot. Thats perfect for the day, I think.

Work is busy, but that's alright. makes the day go by faster. I have stuff to do. Interviews for help tomorrow, pay day today, physical therapy today, kids have some sort of halloween bullshit going on tonight, I would like to do some in game stuff tonight, but will probably get stuck handing out candy, controlling the barking dogs, keeping the black cat inside. All things halloween. It is also 23 degrees out today. Man is it cold. Can't imagine that its going to get warmer as night falls.

I am however, ready to do stuff in game tonight. I am also ready for PT today. I am looking forward to it. Maybe not having the shots in my neck has helped me feel a bit better today.

winter is here...

{listening to A Night Like This by The Cure}

Yesterday, was a snow day. Not just any kind of snow day: a blizzard. The kids had off school, the honey and I both had off work. The snow and the wind blew from about 4am until about 7pm. We have more than a foot of snow on the back porch, with 3-5 foot drifts in the back yard. The kids played with the dogs in the snow. I really wanted to get out there and have a snowball fight or build a snowman, but my neck just didn't want that to happen. The kids dug out the snowboards and the sleds and played in the street. It was cold and wet and windy and most of all snowy. I worked from home most of the day doing email and what not, but it was a grand day. It was the Princess's first snow day ever so she was absolutely stoked. We cooked a warm breakfast, made some bread, made some hot cocoa from scratch, watched some movies, played some games. It was really a great family day.

I cancelled my PT appointment because they were recommending people stay off the roads during the blizzard. When I called around noon, no one answered the PT office phone, so I presume, like many other places, they were closed. I will call today to reschedule or at very least, set up my appointments for next week. I also need to call the pain specialist and get an appointment for there.

The honey drove me to work today, expecting the roads to be super icy. They weren't. They were pretty tame compared to what was on the news last night. I totally could have driven by myself. It truly was a good day yesterday, with the exception of my neck being stiff and on drugs and not being able to go out and romp in the snow with the kiddos. But alas, it was fun to watch, get a few pictures, laugh with the kids.

It was a good day. By Monday, the snow will be all gone. It will come again, but dang, was yesterday a beautiful, cold, snowy, winter day.

{listening to Nugget by Cake}

Does it end?

I realize that i should probably use my blog for some kind of profundity about life and politics and society and etc, as these are things that I discuss all the time, but alas, I use it for a rant of my boring, whining, surburan life. Sad really. I have plenty to talk about with my friends. Somehow, it just doesnt' come to me as a topic when i am sitting here. With that being said, onto my rant about my life and days for today.

Today, it started out great. I felt good when I woke up. PT seemed to do me some good yesterday. The headache was gone. The snow had stopped falling and the roads weren't nearly as icy as I dreaded. It was a beautiful morning looking at the snow covered mountains just peaking through the clouds and a spot of dawn illuminating them. I got to work, started my morning check of systems, got some coffee. Boss called and offered to bring me some breakfast. The phones were quiet. All was happy in my morning solitude. Until....

The VPN server was broke, internet and server connectivity was spotty and I did my best to resolve these issues, yet there was something lurking behind the scenes (I'm not the server person here) that prevented me from actually fixing the problem. The boss that got breakfast came in upset, implying I didn't do my job (did I mention, I'm not the server/network person here?). People are now calling and ranting and raving that shit is down. Yeah.. yeah, network/server people are workin the malfunction. Then he comes in to imply that I just didn't do my job again. WTF mang. I do my job, i do the job of 2 people, in fact. I just don't do the network/server guys jobs. I realize I am superwoman, but fuckin A sometimes, a bitch needs to breathe. Then, the HP repair guy was out here to replace a system board in a laptop for the 3rd time in 3 weeks (same laptop) and when the HP guy leaves, same boss comes in and asks if I made sure it was working this time. Holy mother of christ, get off my fuckin back today. I do my job. I do my job well. The fact that HP sends shit ass re-manufactured parts is now my problem.

I also spent 2 hrs downloading NIC driver after NIC driver for the model of desktop that I am rebuilding and none of them work. Logged onto HP chat to see if they could give me a working NIC driver for this model and they say i gotta pay em money cause this desktop is outta warranty and if I didn't wanna pay the money, I could use their self-help pages. NO SHIT?! I guess Rapesh S (this was HP US chat support). musta missed the part in the chat where I said I downloaded all of their nic drivers for this model of desktop and they all failed to work. I finally ended up finding some variation to my model of desktop and installing the driver and it worked. What worthless piece of shit service. I would so totally be fired if I gave that kind of service to people. Yet, apparently, I don't do my job today.

Also got another email from grumpy boss that implied that I somehow fucked up yesterday when a lady fubar'd changing her password through VPN and isnt' connected to the domain on her laptop and isn't going to be in the office to connect to the domain for another 2 months. Yessir, I fat-fingered that password for her.

The good news is that I got free lunch again today and cheesecake. Cause my ass needed cheesecake, but oh well, it was one slice and it was yummy. The other small bit of good news is that my guild shit/drama is about wrapped up in game and I can soon go about getting on with actually playing the game.

Princess won't be home till late as she is going to root on the JV XC team for their regionals, then she leaves tomorrow for Durango for the Varsity Regionals. I know she will do well. She is the only freshman on varsity, and can run like the wind.

The Boy is home doing something. I think. He might have gone over to his friends house this morning. I really didn't hear much from him after he asked.. interesting. I have to call to follow up on that. In the meantime, back to the grind, gotta keep the grumpy pants at bay for another hour and a half. Now.. don't get me wrong. I love the bosses and I love my job. They are great most of the time and great bosses. Today, they just pissed on my parade cause I was feeling good about driving on the ice, neck and knee weren't killing me. Oh well. It does indeed end at 3:00pm today. When i go home and veg.

*sigh* as we speak, another crack by the grumpy boss. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day that they can jump on my case. I will not be broken. I will dish them some heavy PMS instead.

Craptacular!

thats how i feel. absolutely craptacular. Went and got the shots in my neck. this helps, in that it helps the muscles stop spasming, however, the short term is a migraine, unbelievable pain and the inability to move my head hardly at all. So, i went home, ate, took some valium, tried to go to bed. Had to take the princess over to her friends house for a sleep over, come back, tripped over the dog, strained my neck trying to not fall on my knee, brought myself to tears. 2 valium and I didn't sleep at all. So here I am at work, ice on my neck and head, dying. I have so much work to do today, and i feel like a humongous pile of turd. I have a 2 hr meeting today, at least its a fun one. I just don't feel good. I would love to nap through it, but thats not going to happen. Maybe before. I am at 1 valium and 1 naproxen while at work. I cannot cope with this pain today. Oh yeah, did i mention i get the pleasure of going to Physical Therapy after work today? I am hoping that she will massage the hell out of me and let me skip the exercises. I hurt.

somedays

you just dont' want to crawl out of bed. I love my job, but i think i need a day off, soonish. Too bad i'm all out of vacation, or will be once i take all my holiday time off. I spose soon enough it will be thanksgiving and I will have a whole week off. In the meantime, I am busy.

Princess made varsity again, on XC. Its a fluctuating thing, she has to keep her times down. However, she did qualify for regionals and she gets to go to durango now. Which is what she was really striving for this season. She wants to see all her friends. Can't say that I blame her. I hope she gets to see them, even for a couple minutes.

The Boy was sacked out by like 6pm last night. I think he rode his ass off yesterday when he went on his little bike ride. Good for him, but still totally unlike him to just be asleep, and he was out.

I also think part the reason he sacked out was pure upsettedness. He got a voicemail from john advising that he (Ex) wasn't going to stop on his move to san diego. Then Princess said she actually talked to him and he said it was shorter to go through albuquerque. What an ass. Thats all i have to say. He has no idea how much his stupid little bullshit voicemail and phone call broke the kids hearts. Will they ever tell him that? hell no. Will he ever get a clue that he hurts them? probably not. God damn, that stupid shit pisses me off. No sense in getting into it with him though. he can't see other people's reasoning, especially not while he has his little potwhore. oh well *sigh*. maybe around 40ish he will grow up. By then his kids won't give a shit and they will be almost in college. maybe they will want to hang out and smoke pot with their dad. cripes, is that the best that they will want to do? i hope not. I hope he has pulled his head out before then.

PT yesterday was painful to say the least. I actually love the exercises and i know that they are what will help me get better, but damn, am i hurting after. mostly my neck though. I actually notice improvement with my knee and lower back. I am incurring a small fortune in co-pays. sheesh. You don't realize what 8 weeks times 2 session per week @ $25 per session is really nicking you for. And... thats not all of it. I have at LEAST another 6 weeks of it. Man, I wish I coulda saved that much. I would definately be able to afford my family vacation this summer.. ha!, we'll see. I will know around thanksgiving if traveling is even an option, at least now.

Hitting the library book sale this weekend. I love those. Also plan on doing some gaming tonight and tomorrow. I still am rather stressed out about the whole guild shit, but oh well, it will do what needs to be done. I just don't have the time or energy to put into it. Already I am stressed far too much over a stupid game.

{listening to 10538 Overture by ELO}

humpin

God, today is slow dragging day. The snow is gone, for now. I don't feel well after PT yesterday. I am going to have to discuss w/her some of the exercises. They actually make me feel worse. blah.

I am supposed to get the shots in my neck today, but i think i might pass. I need to get my PT recepts copied and over to the attorney. When do i have time for all this? criminey.

my neck is hardly moving today, migraine because of it. feel mostly like i want to throw up, but i also ate donuts so that could be part of it. heh.. i love donut holes from Dunkin Donuts.

Game is moderately stressful at the moment. I am not a guild leader, by default, not choice. Have some good people who are willing to help, but i just don't have time to put the effort into building this all up. I just wanna run instances.. sheesh already.. oh well..maybe when i log in i'll think of something. I just didn't want the responsibility. Too much RL going on right now, with work, therapy, kids, pain...holy moly.

Sometimes It Rains

Sometimes, it snows. sometimes it does both. Cold days here, snow expected, but mostly just a cold and drizzly rain.

Have PT today, no shot until tomorrow, which i'm glad. they hurt. PT will hopefully feel good today.

The kids are on break, work has calmed down. Logistical problems getting them to practice and such while on break, but i spose we'll work it out.

The car rides and handles nice on slick roads, this i am grateful for. Still a bit nervous for the ice driving, but we'll see soon enough.