10 days have passed

I just haven't really been able to post. I should try to find the time, but after I leave work, I just don't have the energy to get on the computer. I haven't even been playing my game during the week. Plus, there has been some decent tv that I am now addicted to.

So lets back up. Last saturday I cut my hair. I cut it all off. It was down past my shoulders and now its a super short spikey do. I love it. I still kinda miss my hair being long, but i love this new haircut and everyone seems to like it.

On tuesday, we had a blizzard. Our dogs got out. We only have 1 back. We are missing our baby girls sasha and so it has been a very very sad week at our house. I have cried almost every day and night that she is gone. I was out for 3 hours in the blizzard looking for them both. Our Mojo was found and returned to the humane society. Sasha was The Honey's little baby girl. She's not a lap dog or anything, she's a jack russell/husky mix, so she's medium sized, no fur and skinny, but she was his baby and he is absolutely heartbroken. I am too. It was a bittersweet reunion when we got Mojo back home, because we still are missing Sasha. Lots of tension, stress and tears around our house. We have put up posters and put out as many notifications that we possibly could. Mojo was already 5 miles from home after 1 day. Its day 4 now for Sasha, no telling how far she is. I just hope that she is safe. *breathe* ok, enough crying for this morning.

Work has been busy. Lots of new stuff happening, lots of nobody knowing what the fuck is going on. Just keep plugging along here.

Been doing alright physically. The stress from the dogs being gone had made my neck tighten up. I have been to PT and thats all good. I am still working on losing weight and trying to feel better. I need to make some appointments for doctors and follow up on that crap, but I'll get there, just been too much to do lately.

Seems like most weeks I don't have a minute to breathe by myself. The kids need running here and there, work is busy, the honey is gone, trying to keep up with housework, etc. Never enough time in an hour, a day, a week, a month...

I snapped at the princess last night. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. She hurt my feelings, and I think that all the work, dog, pms stress just broke me. I made a snarky remark. She said it hurt her feelings. I apologized, but she couldn't get over that I hurt her feelings. Never mind that what she said was rude to me. Oh Well. I guess teenagers can work their selfishness. I just let it all get to me last night. Some days its too much for me to just blow off their snarky remarks.

I am contemplating changing my cell phone service, though I don't have any really good reason why other than Verizon has been totally shit in the customer service department. I also get a discount through my company with Cingular/AT&T, and they have Rollover minutes, which Verizon doesn't have. I also like the Simm card. Verizon doesnt have that. You get a new phone, either its $25 for them to transfer your data or you get to type all your numbers and shit in again. Thats stupid if you ask me. My problem is that I was with At&t, they switched to Cingular screwed me to no end, and now they are back to AT&T. Decisions.. but I got a month or so before my contract with Verizon finishes. I am just kinda tired of their shite customer service.

I have been in love with GoldFrapp (band) for quite a while. They are a techno band out of the UK and I have them in my rotation of iTunes. But, for some reason this morning, I had the urge to just play their whole album. They are awesome. I also been busy this morning updating myspace. HA! I really just need to keep myself occupied.

The dog being gone has hit the Honey really hard this morning. He is on the verge of tears. I just dont' know if I can handle that too much cause I am bursting out into spontaneous crying already. This morning, just looking at him and the tears just behind the surface, I lost it. I am trying to be supportive and I understand his emotion. I am having a hard time, but I know that he is having it even more rough than I am.

Plugging along today.. through the weekend....

{Listening to Lovely 2 C U by Goldfrapp}

Runnin' to slow down

Ever have those days where you feel so busy, but dont' feel like anything was accomplished? That was my weekend. The honey was home from his business trip, but I didn't hardly see him. We ended up not having our date because, I kinda forgot and planned dinner w/the whole family.

So on friday, I ran the kids around until about 8:00, got busy w/the honey before picking up the kids at 9:30, got home around 10. Saturday, got up at 8, picked up princess from her friends house at 12, came home, worked on honey's taxes, went to the mall w/the princess to try to get haircuts, ended up rescheduling for Sunday, went to dinner (the non-date w/the whole family), got horrible service, rushed through dinner cause the princess was cramping and needed to get home. Got home and its 7:30 already. I was exhausted. On sunday, i got up at 4am cause the dogs woke me up, got a couple hours to flood the kitchen with coffee, play my game, read my book, everyone was awake by 8, at 10, the princess and I left for haircuts, went shopping while we waited for our appointment, got some coffee (cause i flooded the kitchen w/the coffee and didn't get any). Got hair cut, got home at 1:30 in time to take the boy to a 1:50 movie. Blades of Glory. Holy shit is it funny. The theatre was crowded and we were pressed for time. Got a hot dog to eat and dripped ketchup all over my shirt. Got out, got home, got dinner in the oven and finally took my shoes off. It was 5. Ate dinner and went to the store with the kids. Got home, got groceries put away, looked at the clock: it was 8. Went to bed.

I hate being so rushed that I got absolutely nothing done. In the whole weekend it feels like I didn't do anything but run around, I didn't see the honey, I hung out with the kiddos, which is fine, but I just feel like I did everything, yet nothing.

Work is kinda busy, still preparing for the huge event. I will be done today, hopefully. At least now I am waiting on other people. I guess thats good. I don't like it, but at least my shit is all together and ready to go.

The boy went from an A in math at semester to an F. Now he's grounded. Holy shit, does everyone have this kind of just plain screwing off w/their teenagers? I just don't know what I can do different. I help them, I ask them every day if they have homework, if they do, do they need help. I just don't know how to impress upon them that they need to do good in school. It is causing me great stress.

I also start back to PT today. I am excited about it. Though I am almost wishing that all of this was about over. I am tired of having medical problems and going to drs, being poked and prodded and racking up enormous medical bills that I fear are not going to be paid. Add that to my list of stresses. I really freak out that I am going to be held liable for all these expenses. Just one of my neck surgery's was 3500. Which isn't that bad, but I wouldn't have needed it. I also have over 2000 in just PT co-pays. Sheesh. Which, reminds me. I need to schedule some Dr. appts. I really need life to just let me breathe for a minute. Just a quick, deep breath. Let me relax.

{Listening to Under the Radar by Underworld}

Its Friday!!!

Its a great day. The honey is home.. ok, well he's landed and on his way to the house. Its been 2 weeks and I have missed him alot. WOOT for gettin busy.

So, I have posted a week or so ago entitled "2 Weeks". I usually don't get comments or even know if people read my blog. Thats fine, its mostly just a vent for me to write how I'm feeling physically as the accident injuries/recoveries are progressing, how I'm feeling about life, the kids, work; more like a typed word vomit of whatever I'm thinking about. So.. anyway, on the post entitled 2 Weeks, I see a comment. I get a few here and there, but this is an uncalled for, unwarranted spew of shit that just irritates me that people have the nerve to impose their view on me or (if I have any) my readers. Its just ignorant and presumptuous that I am interested in their shit. Especially since I don't think I've ever written anything about my political or religious views on here. I could understand maybe they read it and thought i was a kindred spirit, but Nope, I don't have any of that. And, for what its worth, I'm pagan or agnostic. My beliefs are, just that... my beliefs. If someone asks, I'll share, otherwise, they get to be all mine. So, not only is the comments posted by a chicken shit Anonymous poster, they are offensive to my beliefs. I thought about deleting them, but am still undecided. Especially as I write this and wonder if (anyone is reading this) a comment, out of the blue, completely unrelated to the post topic is truly offensive or if I am perhaps taking it too personal. Either way, shut up and get off my web door cowardly Anonymous poster.

So, the honey is home, the kids are home from school today due to snow today. We didn't get the blizzard like they said we would, but it still piled a few inches up .. in the middle of April. I was worried that the Honey wasn't gonna get home, and he wouldn't have if the blizzard had actually come through, but my life was smiled upon and the kids didn't have school and the honey made it home! Happy Friday the 13th!!

I didn't get PT this week because of my schedule having to take the kids to school this week with the Honey gone, but I havent' felt bad. I have been doing my exercises, felt completely exhausted after work, but other than a little bit of stiffness, not so bad. I still think i'm losing a little bit of weight, but will be grateful to get back to PT next week. I know I do almost all the exercises at home, but something feels better about doing them at the PT gym. I wish I could go to the gym and do regular exercises, but not yet.

Work is kinda slow, but I'm busy getting ready and getting this packed up for a big event. All the stuff gets shipped next thursday so I need to have it all ready to go by then. And, its a lot of stuff. But, its coming together, mostly just paperwork now and identifying the equipment in the boxes, etc. But everything is pretty much tagged and only a bit more sorting and getting the odds and ends together and boxed.

{listening to Force Ten by Rush}

What? There was a holiday?

I missed it. Things were kinda nuts and we had no Easter. The honey is still on the road, the kids spent most of their day on a plane returning home. Then we spent more time on the road because of weather.

This morning the kids didn't want to get up for school. I think its kinda sucky they didn't get any time back before school, but I didn't make the travel, so I had no control. The roommate took the kids to school, but had a tiff about the princess wearing flip flops. I just can't cope with argument over fucking shoes at 6 in the morning. Like to the point of telling her to change shoes or call a cab. UGH!.. and she's stubborn enough to hold out on that shit, trying to change his mind. God dammit. He's doing me a favor but fucking christ. I guess I will be working late 4 days this week. I dont' know how she's going to get to cheer tomorrow if I do that. Fuck.

Did I mention FUCK!!

So i have therapy today. Which will be good. my neck is sore, but not horrid. I am looking forward to therapy though. Driving in the snow yesterday pretty much tensed me up.

Work will hopefully be slow because not only is the Honey out, but 2 other people are gone as well. Holy shit we will be sooo short handed if its busy.

{Listening to cover of Dave Matthews Band song 'Satellite' bye Mika}
If you haven't listened to Mika, you should. He rocks.

2 weeks..

since i posted. Man. I just really haven't felt like posting or haven't had time to post. I actually had one started the other day, but it got deleted when I had to leave my train of thought for a couple of hours because of work.

Things have been.. well.. they just really been. Work has been busy, but not bad. I have been feeling alright, but not superb. My neck is still stiff, especially after PT. The kids are still gone so the house is quiet. The Honey had to take an emergency 2 week trip up and down the east coast, so the house is now REALLY quiet. Me & the roommate generally interact for a little while, catch dinner, then he goes to work. I have been tired, crampy, etc. Trying to sleep with Honey gone.

I called my Dr. to give him an update. He had never heard to the phantom itching crap that I feel.I said that it was tolerable since the pain has receded by a considerable amount, though it still is very stiff a lot of the time. I need to followup with him in another 2 weeks and then call my pain dr. for followup with him. Hooray for dr. appts.

Life has been pretty quiet without the kiddos here. I miss them terribly, but they are having fun at the beach and with their cousins and their grandparents. Today they are back at their dads for the remainder of their visit. They come home sunday. I am still nervous about them changing planes, but its not like they are little kids. They are teenagers after all. I still worry. I guess it doesn't change from when they are little and you worry about them riding their bike to their friends house around the corner... just the same worry on a grander (is that a word?) scale. Plus, they travel all easter sunday. Maybe we'll have to go out to dinner or something. Hrm.

{Listening to Penitentiary Philosophy by Erykah Badu}