Dressing for Success

Today, we have a meeting for 3 hours (it might actually be longer) about how to dress in the workplace. this is a mandatory meeting. i am wondering if they think that the people here don't dress nice, because they do. I am just not necessarily looking forward to a meeting chastising me that i don't wear $300 suits to crawl under peoples desks to fix their computers. Unfortunately, until the pay gets better to allow me to afford such suits to get greasy and dirty and dry clean, i will continue to dress in my slacks and shirts. No skirts for this lady. I personally would find it far more unprofessional to see my ass under a desk than to see a chick in pants under my desk. Just my opinion, but, we'll see at the meeting. In my experience, these type of things don't generally take into consideration women doing manual labor in a business environment. Sorry ladies, I am a techie. I lift servers and monitors and desktops. I will test the network port under your desk and in the closet. I will run cable if needed. These activities, do not require a skirt or high heels. Nope.. pants and sensible shoes. Now while I am not necessarily stoked about this meeting, I am however excited that there is a reprieve of the helpdesk as it will be closed for the time of the meeting. This just means I have more work to do when i get out of the meeting, but its a breather and until i get some help, any amount of air I can gulp is great. I do love being busy, sometimes you can be too busy.

I think that Honey's interview went well. we'll see if he gets the job. had a nice lunch yesterday too. did i mention that today is physical therapy day? maybe i will get worked over again, although i am still sore from tuesday. painful, but in a good way, i suppose. I do believe it to be helping over the long haul, but its a painful road to travel. Can't i have the squishy soft road please?

Princess has homecoming, the Boy has some kind of skating event. emergency funds needed for this that and the other thing. Ex is crawling up my ass because he is apparently some kind of parent with god status and nothing i do is right. good thing his girlfriend smokes dope in front of the kids, leaves naked pictures of herself on her camera, competes with a 14 yr old girl for the attention of her dad.. must need the super star of parents to work those logistics. good thing he cant stay in one place for longer than 3 years. also, must need the super star of parents to maintain that rock solid foundation that he likes to bitch to me about not providing because i moved once. i grow tired of his bullshit. he doesn't pay child support (was waived, not necessarily a deadbeat). as long as the kids are with me, he can bitch all he likes. Suck it, my friend, suck it. You can yell and scream at me all you want over the phone about how i don't do things your way. yes, feel free. then, the kids and I will go about our business. When he wants to pay at least 1/2 their support or be something less than vacant like he is at the moment, then i'll think his opinion holds weight. It used to, don't get me wrong. I think he's a good dad. I think his priorities are fucked at the moment and not my business to change that. Pot headed, bitchy pussy > kids. go for it dude.. absolutely go for it. he has given me support on occassion over the past 14 years to do what I needed to for me. Just don't expect me to take your current lifestyle and priorities as something that holds weight with me. Be pissed, be a dick, ex-husband means you don't get to piss me off. I don't allow it. Its frustrating to tell the kids. But, they are teenagers. I tell them to take the issues up with him, not me. I can't change him or control him. They need answers, they need to ask directly. It makes me sad when the kids cry, and that pisses me off cause they don't let him see it. They don't let on how disappointed they are that he abandons plans with them to go off in search of some unknown bullshit. Nope, skippy head goes on about his merry little selfish way and I get to clean up the mess of anger and hurt. They will get it. someday, they will catch on what their dad is all about. It won't take me bad-mouthing him, cause i don't do that. He'll do it all by himself. I love my kids more than anything in the world. I love their dad as my friend and father of my kids. They will learn, as I have, he is a great friend, fun for adventure, smart, funny and engaging; and undependable, self-centered and selfish. I would probably say somewhat of a narcissistic personality. Makes him who he is, which is generally a pretty great guy. I think that its some sort of mid-life crisis with the current girlfriend. I don't get why he's with her. I always know why they are with him. He's exciting. Its a fun lifestyle. Most will grow tired of the uncertainty after a couple years. Most people cannot handle a vagabond lifestyle. Not for years upon end. Its intriguing at first. but the lack of security eventually wears down. The vagabond lifestyle has always been a part of him. And when the kids were little, before school, it didn't matter so much. Now that they are in high school and jr. high, they need to establish themselves somewhere. Johnica went to 4 different jr. highs in 3 years. Thats tough on her. I see it on her myspace and all the people she misses and leaves behind, all the wishing that she never moved. Hopefully, at least now with me, we'll stay here until both are done with HS. Its the plan, I have no view of anything happening that would change that. Things come up, life happens, but i have a strong resolve to let the kids stay where they are until out of high school and moved onto college. then my life will happen. The ex... i wish him well and happiness in all that he does. I hope that he finds someone that actually makes him happy and complements his personality rather than someone who struggles against it. I hope that one day, he doesn't crave that power struggle. I wish that he would pull his head out sometimes and do something for others besides himself. I wish that i could give advice or opinion from past experiences and it would not be disregarded as "hippy bullshit".. ... You know what they say.. wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up first. I've got gloves on both hands for the long haul with the ex. I knew it since I was 14 when we met. I know it now at almost 36 when we have 2 teenagers. I will know it for many years to come. I know that he is a good guy, with a big heart, if only he would let that come out more often. It is unfortunate that our friendship has waned since the present girlfriend, its been around along time. Whether he likes it or not, I know him better than he wants to believe. I know our kids too. I am glad that he is still my friend after all these years. I am also glad that I am no longer married to him. 13 years ago during the divorce, I was devastated. Couldn't imagine it. Now, I can look back and recognize that it was one of the best things that ever happened to me and him too, and probably the kids for that matter.

long post.. time for meeting.