accident leftovers

{listening to: Silver Lining by David Gray}

I'm about done with this whole accident injury bullshit. I am tired of not being able to walk or work out. My fears are of gaining weight. How shallow. Not that I am skinny or anything, I just really was making the effort to lose weight, going to the gym every day, and now i'm on complete ass rest. I am supposed to be sitting/lying down all the time, walking as little as possible. I can't even work my upper body at the moment because of the neck and back injuries.

Not that physically I am ready to work out. I just want to do something. My body is in constant, chronic pain. I can totally understand how people become addicted to pain meds after severe injuries. You really just want to pop them until the pain goes away. Regular doses don't cut it. I keep it in my mind that, despite physical pain, working out would help some of the mental and emotion stress of this whole thing subside.

i'm glad that i have Honey and the kids to help me right now. I don't know what i would do without them. i love them and they have been so supportive and helpful. somedays, i just feel overwhelmed with love for them. they really are the greatest.

{listening to Dreaming my Dreams of You by Cowboy Junkies}